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Christmas is the tenth episode of season one.


Summary[]

While Frankie practices for a solo that she'll be singing at church's midnight mass, Mike takes over the responsibility of organizing the Heck's Christmas and tries to help Brick get over a sudden preoccupation with death that's dampening his Christmas spirit. However, Frankie gets jealous when Mike does all the holiday chores she loves doing.

Plot[]

While cranking out the annual Heck family Christmas newsletter, Frankie brings everyone up to speed on Mike’s promotion at the quarry, her new job selling cars, Axl’s new job bussing tables, and Sue’s pseudo-boyfriend, Brad. As for Brick, he’s bummed about the fleeting notion of Christmas. The boy’s deep.

When the director of the Christmas choir announces that Melanie Howard has throat polyps, Frankie is ecstatic. It’s not that she wishes abnormal mucus membrane growths upon anyone; it’s just that Melanie has hogged all of the solos for the past 15 years. But now Frankie has a shot at taking center stage at midnight mass. If only she didn’t have to deal with the hassles of the holidays.

Mike says he’ll handle things this year. He’ll just make a list. Frankie is a little put-off by how nonchalant he is about taking on Christmas. It’s hard work. But Mike seems to be up to the challenge. He goes shopping at the mall, puts up the tree, and makes a snowman out on the lawn. Frankie is upset that he’s doing all the fun stuff without her. So she insists on being the one to take Brick to see Santa.



Brick’s holiday blues even bring down Santa. Frankie gives Mike one more thing for his “to do” list: Fix Brick. That won’t be easy. The little guy’s depression stems from a Santa Pez dispenser he got a few years back. It was great for a while, but then it was gone. When Brick questions his own mortality, Mike says, “That’s why we have books and candy and water parks and TV. It’s all just a big old distraction from death.” Makes sense.

Brick takes the news in stride, but then Mike adds a tidbit that totally traumatizes his young son. He says that if Brick doesn’t stop whispering to himself, Santa won’t bring him any presents. So now he isn’t talking at all. Frankie is upset because Mike rushed through the Brick situation just so he could check it off his list. Mike takes offense and almost admits Christmas is hard. We said almost.

With Melanie Howard still on the disabled list, Frankie scores the solo gig at midnight mass. She wants the family to get to the church at 11 so the “I only go at Christmas and Easter crowd” doesn’t snag all the good seats. What happens next reminds us of a classic holiday poem. ‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the Heck house, not a creature was stirring because Mike and the kids fell asleep on the couch.

A disappointed Frankie launches into song as her family shows up late and in pajamas. Everyone screams at each other on the car ride home until Brick shouts, “Everybody stop yelling!” Unfortunately, he also whispers the word “yelling.” Brick freaks out because now Santa won’t be bringing him any presents.



The bickering continues until Mike hits an ice patch, and the car goes into a spin. Once Mike regains control of the car, the family resumes yelling. Then he hits another ice patch. He regains control once more, but this time it looks like the screaming is over. Everyone is way too freaked out.

Mike finally admits that Christmas is hard. That’s all Frankie ever wanted to hear. Brick finds his missing Santa Pez dispenser. It slid out from under the seat the second time they almost died. It’s a Christmas miracle! Frankie says via voiceover, “So almost dying twice had made the rest of us start thinking about our own existence. But for Brick, it made him stop.” That plastic Santa must be popping out some pretty tasty two-year-old Pez pellets.

As Christmas morning rolls around, Brick is happy, but Sue is not. She went out to give her overly-effeminate boyfriend Brad his present and caught him hiding in the bushes with a boy. You can just guess what they were doing. That’s right. They were smoking. So that’s why Brad would never kiss Sue under the mistletoe! He didn’t want her to know he was a smoker. At least, that’s what Sue believes. Yes, it’s another Christmas miracle.

The Middle Episodes
Season 1
PilotThe CheerleaderThe Floating AnniversaryThe TripThe Block PartyThe Front DoorThe ScratchThanksgivingSiblingsChristmasThe JeansThe NeighborThe InterviewThe YellingValentine's DayThe BeeThe Break-UpThe Fun HouseThe Final FourTV or Not TVWorry DutyMother's DaySignalsAverage Rules
Season 2
Back to SchoolHomecomingThe Diaper IncidentThe QuarryForeign ExchangeHalloweenA Birthday StoryErrand BoyThanksgiving IIA Simple ChristmasTaking Back the HouseThe Big ChillSuper SundayValentine's Day IIFriends, Lies and VideotapeHecks on a PlaneThe Math ClassSpring CleaningThe LegacyRoyal WeddingMother's Day IIThe PromThe BridgeBack to Summer
Season 3
Forced Family FunHecking OrderMajor ChangesThe TestBad ChoicesHalloween IIHeck's Best ThingThe PlayThanksgiving IIIA Christmas GiftYear of the HecksThe MapHecking It UpValentine's Day IIIThe ConcertThe Sit DownLeap YearThe Paper RouteGet Your Business DoneThe Guidance CounselorThe CloverThe TellingThe Wedding
Season 4
Last Whiff of SummerThe Second ActBunny TherapyThe HoseHalloween III: The DrivingThe SafeThanksgiving IVChristmas HelpTwenty YearsLife SkillsOne Kid at a TimeThe FriendThe SmileValentine's Day IVWinners and LosersWheel of PainThe NameThe BachelorDollar DaysFrom Orson with LoveHallelujah HoedownThe DitchThe Graduation
Season 5
The Drop OffChange in the AirThe PotatoThe 100thHalloween IV: The Ghost StoryThe JumpThanksgiving VThe KissThe Christmas TreeSleepless in OrsonWar of the HecksThe CarpoolHungry GamesThe AwardVacation DaysStormy MoonThe WalkThe SmellThe Wind ChimesThe OptimistOffice HoursHeck on a Hard BodyOrlandoThe Wonderful World of Hecks
Season 6
Unbraceable YouThe Loneliest LockerMajor AnxietyThe TableHalloween V: The HangingThe SinkholeThanksgiving VIThe College TourThe Christmas WallPam Freakin' StaggsA Quarry StoryHecks on a TrainValentine's Day VIThe AnswerSteaming Pile of GuiltFlirting with DisasterThe Waiting GameOperation InfiltrationSiblings and SombrerosFood CourtingTwo of a KindWhile You Were SleepingMother's Day ReservationsThe Graduate
Season 7
Not Your Brother's Drop OffCutting the CordThe ShirtRisky BusinessLand of the LostHalloween VI: Tick Tock DeathHomecoming II: The TailgateThanksgiving VIIThe ConventionNot So Silent NightThe RushBirds of a FeatherFloating 50Film, Friends and Fruit PiesHecks at a MovieThe Man HuntThe Wisdom TeethA Very Donahue VacationCrushedSurvey Says...The LanaiNot Mother's DayFind My HecksThe Show Must Go On
Season 8
The Core GroupA Tough Pill to SwallowHalloween VII: The HeckoningTrue GritRoadkillThanksgiving VIILook Who's Not TalkingTrip and FallA Very Marry ChristmasEscape OrsonHoosier MaidPitch ImperfectOvary and OutSorry Not Sorry Dental Hijinks Swing and a Miss Exes and OhhhsThe Par-tayThe ConfirmationAdult SwimClear and Present DangerThe Final FinalFight or Flight
Season 9
Vive La HecksPlease Don't Feed the HecksMeet the ParentsHalloween VIII: Orson Murder MysteryRole of a LifetimeThe SetupThanksgiving IXEyes Wide OpenThe 200thNew Year's RevelationsThe Other ManMommapaloozaGuess Who's Coming to Frozen DinnerToastedThe Crying GameHecks vs. Glossners: The Final BattleThank You for Not KissingBat Out of HeckGreat HeckspectationsThe Royal FlushSplit DecisionA Heck of a Ride
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