Season 1[]
"I need you to come to school dressed as Superwoman. You could have been Jungle Girl, but you would have had to come today." -Pilot
"I have to kick a ball!" -The Neighbor
Brick: "Where's my chair?"
Frankie (Narration): "Wow! It has been a long time since we've eaten as a family." -Siblings
"I'm supposed to interview you for a school project." -The Fun House
"Can you take me to the corn maze? You keep saying we can go, but we never do!" -Thanksgiving
Season 2[]
"My new backpack and I aren't getting together... at all," -Back to School
"My ninth birthday is coming up, and this year I finally want to hear the story of my birth." -A Birthday Story
“So there aren’t hundreds of beautiful singles in my area dying to meet me? I need to go update my blog.” -Taking Back the House
"Mom, why are you taking our presents? Why?" -A Simple Christmas
"My books! I can't make it on a plane ride without books!" -Hecks on a Plane
Frankie: "Hey, zippers are very in--"
Brick: "Don't even!" -The Legacy
Frankie: (Crossed bridge) "Brick, we crossed the-"
Brick: (On the opposite side of the bridge) "Sorry! Couldn't do it" -The Bridge
Brick: "I blame myself partly."
Frankie: "I blame you allofly!" -Back to Summer
Season 3[]
"I try to let her win, but it's impossible! She's so dumb, in Connect 4, she literally couldn't connect 4! -Thanksgiving III
"Do you want to hear what else she said about you?"
Mike: "No."
Brick: "It's pretty juicy!" -The Telling
"I got ribs, a driving lesson and extra credit. Of course I'm happy!" -The Play
"Do you know how hard it is to not be reading!?" -Year of the Hecks
Brick: "I found a four leaf clover! They're good luck you know!"
Mike: "You see? You put down the books for one second and -- hey is that a tick?" -The Clover
Season 4[]
"I think the bunny has issues." -Bunny Therapy
"I'm surprised you weren't there. I got a ride home with Mrs. Donahue. She said that something must ave gone incredibly wrong, but I guess not." -Winners and Losers
"Think about it, Sue. Forty dollars won't change mom's life, but forty thousand would!" -The Safe
Season 5[]
"Since we're heading that way anyway, can we see my girlfriend in North Carolina?' -Orlando
"I'm calling the pretzel people and telling them how their reduce in salt crystals hasn't gone unnoticed." -The Wind Chimes
"The classic font is easier to read, but I'm going to have to go with the fun font." -The Wonderful World of Hecks
"I'm going to enter in the Orson motto contest. The winner gets to ride in an old-timey fire truck. The best part is that your motto becomes the town's motto for the next 100 years!" -The 100th
Sue: "I swear, when we kissed, I heard bells."
Brick: (Wind chimes ringing) "In that case, we're all in love with Darrin." -The Wind Chimes
Season 6[]
"That's just crackers on butter!" -Two of a Kind
"I liked the puppets. I was surprised how many meds my polar bear needed to get through the day." -The Loneliest Locker
Sue: "Every time I go, he says three more months. I go in March, he says three more months, I go in June and he says three more months! See, I marked it on the calendar."
Brick: "Maybe while you were marking things on the calendar you could marked the first day of school." -Unbraceable You
Sue: "I know, let's run out of the house yelling fire, and when the Glossners follow us out we come back in and lock the door."
Brick: "I was thinking of starting an actual fire." -The Kiss
"As his eyes fluttered open, the boy saw the sun had gently nudged awake it's captives, yesterday's mistakes vanished to wispy nothings, and the father he thought long dead was standing at his door." -The Waiting Game
Season 7[]
"I'm assuming that you don't want to hear about the pep rally." -Cutting the Cord
"What's the difference between extra strength and super-whoa, dad. I can see your elbows!" -The Shirt
Season 8 []
"I want to practice driving but no one's ever around." -Roadkill
"You're gonna love our pizza!" -Look Who's Not Talking
Axl: "I didn't tell you I got married because I didn't want to ruin your Christmas."
Brick: "Well, that ship has sailed!" -A Very Marry Christmas
(Reffering to a baby) "Who's the bald guy?" -Ovary and Out
Season 9[]
"It's my big sophomore year!" -Meet the Parents
"Do you have and brochures?" -Vive la Hecks
Brick: "I have a-"
Frankie: "DON'T say it!"
Brick: "Oh, I'm saying it! I have a concert next week and I expect you to all be there." -Role of a Lifetime
Brick: "I mailed Cindy $30 to get back with me."
Frankie: "Brick, if Cindy comes back to you because you paid her, she's basically a prostitute."
Brick: "Well, yes, but she's my prostitute." -Thanksgiving IX
"I just like her so much I want to squeeze her until she stops breathing." -Eyes Wide Open
"I really missed you, and breaking up with you was the biggest mistake of my life, but I guess it's over now." -The 200th
“This is why I didn't want to sit in the middle. [Whispers] The middle.” -A Heck of a Ride